Stop it. Someone keeps e-mailing me his/her resume, looking for a summer associate position for next year, with the name redacted -- "Anonymous Law Student," he/she writes at the top. I've e-mailed back each time politely saying this isn't the right way to go about it, and please send the resume through the appropriate channels, but he/she just sends it right back. It's happened five times now. And it's getting pretty annoying. Also killing this guy/girl's chances of ever getting hired here. Unless the whole resume is a fake and then I can't figure out who it is when he/she applies.
But just in case it's not a fake, I'm going to tear it apart on here for my hundred-odd readers to learn from.
1. I don't care what you did in high school. You were captain of the tennis team, I don't care. It was 7 years ago.
2. "Wine making" is not an "interest" it gets me all that excited to see on a resume. Wine making = wine drinking, and while that's perhaps a fine interest, it's not an interest that's going to help you succeed in the workplace, so get it off the resume. Similarly, darts, ping pong, foosball, arcade games, computer simulations, and having sex with your dog are not good interests to list -- those weren't on the resume; I'm just trying to be helpful.
3. I don't need to know your PSAT score. I'm assuming it's on the same scale as the SAT, but I'm not sure. If so, your 1120 isn't that impressive. Sorry.
4. Kaplan LSAT Prep Class should not be listed under education. I can't imagine why you thought including that on your resume wouldn't hurt much, much more than it could ever possibly help.
5. Listing famous professors you've had is only marginally more necessary than listing good restaurants you've eaten at. I don't care if you signed up for a class with someone famous. If they're willing to vouch for your brilliance, then maybe we can talk.
6. Unexplained gaps in work history raise questions. Did you really do NOTHING for a year in between the consulting firm and law school? And am I really supposed to take from that anything besides the assumption you got unceremoniously dumped by the consulting firm and were so incompetent you couldn't find another job for a year? Because that's the picture I get.
7. "Turned down accepted transfer application to [better school than you're at]" is shameless prestige-whoring. Lawyers are prestige whores as much as anyone, but that goes too far even for us.
8. Don't spell stuff wrong. It looks bad.
9. STOP SENDING ME YOUR RESUME.
But just in case it's not a fake, I'm going to tear it apart on here for my hundred-odd readers to learn from.
1. I don't care what you did in high school. You were captain of the tennis team, I don't care. It was 7 years ago.
2. "Wine making" is not an "interest" it gets me all that excited to see on a resume. Wine making = wine drinking, and while that's perhaps a fine interest, it's not an interest that's going to help you succeed in the workplace, so get it off the resume. Similarly, darts, ping pong, foosball, arcade games, computer simulations, and having sex with your dog are not good interests to list -- those weren't on the resume; I'm just trying to be helpful.
3. I don't need to know your PSAT score. I'm assuming it's on the same scale as the SAT, but I'm not sure. If so, your 1120 isn't that impressive. Sorry.
4. Kaplan LSAT Prep Class should not be listed under education. I can't imagine why you thought including that on your resume wouldn't hurt much, much more than it could ever possibly help.
5. Listing famous professors you've had is only marginally more necessary than listing good restaurants you've eaten at. I don't care if you signed up for a class with someone famous. If they're willing to vouch for your brilliance, then maybe we can talk.
6. Unexplained gaps in work history raise questions. Did you really do NOTHING for a year in between the consulting firm and law school? And am I really supposed to take from that anything besides the assumption you got unceremoniously dumped by the consulting firm and were so incompetent you couldn't find another job for a year? Because that's the picture I get.
7. "Turned down accepted transfer application to [better school than you're at]" is shameless prestige-whoring. Lawyers are prestige whores as much as anyone, but that goes too far even for us.
8. Don't spell stuff wrong. It looks bad.
9. STOP SENDING ME YOUR RESUME.
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