To the associate who keeps taking candy from the bowl on my secretary's desk: I see you. I see you when you walk by my office, trying to look like you have a reason to be there. But you don't. You're just there for the candy. I see the guilty look on your face. I see you come by at lunchtime, when you know she'll be out. You try not to make eye contact. You try to rush past. But I know what you're doing. Everyone knows. Well, she's my secretary, not yours. That candy belongs to me. And if I have any say in whether or not you make partner -- and, trust me, I do -- I'm not going to forget this.



Besides, it's not like you couldn't stand to lose a few pounds.



I also saw you sneak out at 8:00 three times last week. Don't think I don't see you. I see everything.

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